1/23/08

One For You, One For Me

On the outskirts of town, there was a big old pecan tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several were dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." He just knew what it was. "Oh my," he shuddered, "it's Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. "Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard. Satan and St. Peter are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls." The man said, "Beat it, kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted, though, the man hobbled to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..." The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth. Let's see if we can see the devil himself." Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan. At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done."

7 comments:

Mulled Vine said...

Welcome back Bobby, and a fine joke at that! Pity you've spelt humor incorrectly, it should be humour! ;-)

Sicarii said...

Ooh, new blog! Nice one, Bobby, I'll be back often, and will you into my "Friends With Blogs" list. :-)

Humor has no 'u', Robert. ;-)

Sicarii said...

Here's a 'gift' for your new blog. Seeing as it is election year, and this joke has some Christian element in it, I thought it might be appropriate:

The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years, he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital in Washington, DC. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

“Yes, Father?” said the nurse.

“I would really like to see President Bill and Senator Hillary Clinton before I die,” whispered the priest.

“I’ll see what I can do, Father” replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; the Clinton’s would be delighted to visit the priest.

As they went to the hospital, Hillary commented to Bill, “I don’t know why the old priest wants to see us, but it certainly will help our images and might even get me elected President. After all, I’m IN IT TO WIN IT.”

Bill agreed–it was a very good thing for her campaign once they put out a press release about it.

When they arrived at the priest’s room, the old priest took Bill’s hand in his right hand and Hillary’s hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest’s face.

Finally Bill Clinton spoke. “Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?”

The old priest slowly replied, “I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

“Amen” said Bill.

“Amen” said Hillary.

The old priest continued…
“He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same.”

Bobby said...

Thanks for stopping by you guys. That's pretty harsh Isaiah, but I would have to agree.

Mulled Vine said...

Great joke Isaiah. Like the one "How do you know a politician is lying? ... His lips are moving!"

Kimberly said...

You better run boy, he's comin after you next!

ROFLOL

I love it!

Thanks Bobby.

Kimberly

leyley(sissy) said...

lol daddy i love this 1!!!!